Bigby's Bitch Slap
(Evocation)
Reversible

Range:  10 yards per level
Components:  V, S, M
Duration:  Special
Casting Time:  4
Area of Effect:  One female (male for the reverse)
Saving Throw:  Negates

This is yet another version of the "Bigby's Hand" spells (although probably not from Bigby). A quasi-real hand (five feet) comes into existence and smacks the nearest women that the caster commands it to. If the woman knows her place is in the kitchen, the hand only does 1 point of damage as a reminder. However, if the woman has complained, whined or not been to the kitchen in three days, the hand instantly grows to a Titan's hand's size (25 feet) and knocks the woman into the nearest kitchen (be it 10 feet or 10,000 miles) and forces her to cook a three course meal. If she continuously refuses, the hand will inflict damage on her until she submits (DM's decision on damage per hit). The hand has as many hit points as the caster in full health and has an Armour Class of 0. The material component of the spell is a leather glove.
The reverse of this spell, Bigbabs' brute slap, is quite alike, except that it only works on males, to remind them that they should leave the house and go to work. The man is immediately reminded that he should work, not hang around in, say, a comfy living room or bar. The hand evoked will continue slapping the male until he submits and goes to work. If the man had complained, abused women at work, or not been to work in three days, the hand will grow to 25 feet and beat the man until he complies, forcing him to perform overwork for at least two hours.

